Modern vs Traditional Way of Communicating

ibun sita

This morning while I was feeding Bagas, our youngest son, my husband posed me a question that stroke me, “Why do you often Tweet and Facebooking? And recently, Path?” He continued “Do you know that you and all other people are sort of being “abused” or “terjajah” by social media tycoons? Your and other people’s life are ruled by them, somehow. You need to post every morning only mentioning that you are awake. And then post again every evening to say that you are sleeping. Don’t you find it funny sometimes?” He smiled and ending his statement by saying “Do you know how much fortune they have made just by having you lot register as their followers? And you dear, what have you made out of it?”

It stroke me because I don’t really have a good answer to argue him back and somehow, deep inside my heart, I also kind of agree on his thought. I am not a big fan of social media although, I have to admit, I have signed up in so many social media account. You name it. Twitter, Facebook, Path, Instagram, Whatsapp, LINE, even the oldies version of social media such as Plurk and Friendster. Yikes, seeing the list made me realize how “silly” I am. I am following things that are perceived to be the latest trend on Earth, for what? So people don’t stamp me as “gaptek lady”? So I can be “friends” with many people? What about my real friends? How many have you seen face to face or by phone? I started to realize how often I am “trapped” in my own world called social media. Instead of having a warm conversation with my husband in the evening, or accompanying my kids drawing something they like, or call my old friend just to say hi, I spend most of my spare time posting pictures such as food or jokes on socmed.

For what?  

I have to admit (again), I post things because I expect people to give comments on my post or emoticons. I am happy when people respond to my post. But then again, I question myself, is that what I call REAL happiness? Are they genuinely like your post or just show a form of “basa basi” because they feel bad if nobody post in your comments? What about the people that are physically around you? Your children who are in bed waiting for you to turn off your cellphone and start reading them bedtime stories, how have you treated them so far?

When I was in Berkeley two months ago, out of the blue, I spontaneously send postcards to my sister and close friends. I expect nothing at that time. But, surprisingly, the reaction was definitely so meaningful for me. My sister and friends LOVED receiving my postcard. One of my friend even send me back a postcard from Frankfurt, Germany!  Not because the postcard was from Berkeley, but the sign of affection (according to them) felt stronger by reading the postcard, even if I only say “Happy Ramadan, I miss you!” but it made a big difference on our relationship. The excitement of receiving something from the postman is absolutely different and definitely more meaningful than simply make a status on Facebook and tag my sister and say “Happy Ramadan, I miss you”. Although it is much simpler by greeting people online but to me personally, it is more unforgettable to receive them by post or phone calls. I don’t know, maybe because it takes a different level of efforts and time in sending them and that is what I appreciate most.
So, back to my husband’s question. Why do you Path? Tweet? FB? Unless you are running an online shop or any kind of business online, I hard to find a good answer for that. Posting photos? Why don’t you print one of the best photos you have with your friends and give it to all of them when you have a gathering, or maybe send them by post? They will be surprised!

Why do you put a status of what you are doing? This one, I don’t have the answer as I almost never put a status on what I am doing in Facebook. But then again, people are different and we should appreciate that. For me, I do feel that I want to shy away from Twitter et. al for a bit. I think it will make my life happier. However, it is your choice either to be involved or not involved (or at least not heavily involved like me!) in social media paradigm. You are the one who has the power to set your own limit, not your friends or followers.

At least just remember, whenever you want to tweet or update your status, do it wisely and bare the risk. And also try to do the traditional things sometimes, send birthday cards by post, it is fun!

 Picture is from here


  1. rikandun
    rikandun September 10, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    okay, you name it..friendster, facebook, plurk, blogspot, wordpress, tumblr, twitter, flickr, instagram, path, etc etc…hahaa lucky me i dont have myspace and mig 33 :p

    Kadang suka terjebak yah dengan “mana kehidupan yg sebenarnya” hehee..

    Btw, aku pernah terima kartupos dan rasanya senang sekali,jd merasa diperhatikan dan diingat secara riil..well, its ring a bell to send some card to some relatives :)

    Nice article Sitaa, thank for wrote it!

  2. kanahayaku
    kanahayaku September 10, 2013 at 2:04 pm

    tfs ,mau coba ah kirim2an kartu pos sama temen2 secara udah pada jauh2an beda kota sampe beda pulau :)

    btw, dulu jg smua-mua socmed punya tp akhir nya yg bertahan cuma fb dan twitter brubah fungsi jd pencari berita terupdate :)

  3. gabe1981
    Seymour Magabe September 10, 2013 at 10:46 pm

    lucu ya, artikel ini malah saya share di facebook :)

  4. Bunda MedinaMecca
    Bunda MedinaMecca September 11, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    wah jadi ingat, jaman SMP pernah punya hobi filateli karena ber-sahabatpena-an..hehe.
    kalo ada waktu, mau ngenalin kantor pos ah ke anak2. TFS ya mom :)

  5. ZataLigouw
    Zata Ligouw September 11, 2013 at 7:29 pm

    Great article Andini.., thank you..

    kalo buat gw, sosial media itu jadi sarana buat kerja (krn kerjaan gw ckp berhub dng digital media) dan berinteraksi dengan teman atau kenalan yang memang jauh bgt. Bisa sih kirim lewat pos, but if i have more than 50 friends, honestly, it’s very time (and money) consuming.. eh, tapi kalo ada temen deket yang ultah, pasti bentuknya kartu ucapan beneran lho, ngga via socmed hehehe..

    yup, setuju bgt, kita emang harus bijak dalam menggunakan semua platform sosial media itu, pakai seperlunya dan ngga perlu berlebihan..

  6. ibun sita
    Andini Desita Ekaputri September 11, 2013 at 11:04 pm

    @rikandun: wah iyaa lupa, kayanya aku jg punya tuh account myspace *gubraaak!* tp kalau mig33 baru denger hehehe… sama-sama.. artikel ini buat ngingetin diri sendiri jg spy ga over expose myself yang artis aja bukan wkwkwk :))

    @kanahayaku: iyaa.. mari kita kembalikan budaya sahabat pena hehehe… temenku kemarin bales kirim balik kartu pos ke aku and iya ternyata beda excitementnya hehehe :)

  7. ibun sita
    Andini Desita Ekaputri September 11, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    @Seymour Magabe: xixixi… saya jg koq mba, masih hobi retweet atau share post punya orang, tosss :)

    @Bunda MedinaMecca: sama-sama Mom.. Iyaa.. aku jg rencananya mau ngajak anak-anak kirim kartu ke kantor pos. Kartunya mau coba bikin dr hasil gambar anak2 hehehe… :)

    @Zata Ligouw: sama-sama Zata.. it’s a self reminder for me actually but happy to know that people read it, many thanks :) I agree, in certain cases, social media is the best mean of communication instead of using snail mail for example hehe. Wah hebat… msh suka kirim ucapan pake kartu, jd inget senengnya milih2 kartu di toko buku sampe bingung mau yg mana :)

  8. mama alcide
    mama alcide September 13, 2013 at 9:06 pm

    bacanya: jleb.. jlebb jleebb…!! hahahha soalnya pernah dibilang hal yang sama oleh suami. Tapi saya termasuk bisa kontrol diri juga kalo sudah sama anak. lebih seru liat dia lagi belajar berdiri. hehehehe..
    ide kirim2an kartu nya seruuu… mo kirim kartu ucapan ultah buat sahabat yang mau ultah aah…
    TFS ya mba Andini..

    anyway, sstt… saya jg (pernah)punya friendster, plurk, myspace, fb, twitter, instagram, LINE, whatsapp, dan path lho. hahahahaha..

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