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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

*as requested by Ninit, here's my note previously posted at FB :

Last night I read an article in a local paper and it got me thinking. My thoughts went to fellow mother out there, especially those who's taking care of their loved ones sans help from nannies, maids or family members. The column in TODAY paper
"Point of View" written by Christopher Toh, it's a male point of view.

He said, "Someone commented I made it seem very easy to have kids. It's partly true. It's easy to have kids - just not so easy to be a parent. Especially a stay-at-home parent. And if you're doing this on your own sans help from nannies, maids or family members, you'd better make sure your significant other worship the ground you walk on. (The working half have it easy: They can always "escape" to work and got a decent pay).

He's talking about a study by Salary.com which calculated that stay-at-home mums should be paid at least US$ 117,000 (S$ 162,000) annually for what they do. They, especially breast feeding mums have been a milk bar-on-demand 24/7, they sometimes tired and feel low, they feel like cows, and they're not joking!. They're also the teacher, mentor, disciplinarian, a lady, a wife, a cook, a friend, a playmate, a cleaner, someone who's picking up after everybody .. all rolled into one. They've given up everything they used to hold dear, in order to hold their loved ones. They're doing all that single-handedly.

I pointed out the article to my husband who's busy watching "YouTube" last night and what he did just smile and said "hm, hm .." well, I personally didn't ask him to worship the ground I walk on, nor did I ask for a S$ 162,000 annual income. All we mums need after all what we have given up to raise our kids is just some respect, that mommies are just a human being who sometimes can get tired, fed-up, angry or lonely. The price that we have to pay could not be calculated by any top financial analyser. Some of them used to earn more than their husbands, nowadays they "earn" half of whatever's left after expenses.

So, don't look down on them, instead like the title of the book I've mentioned above, "The Price of Motherhood", it's the Most Important Job in the World.

*celebrating Ninit's Urban Mama Forum!
http://theurbanmama.com/forum/

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

hi mbak wati,

terima kasih sudah berbagi di sini. i love your writing. mengingatkan kita semua bahwa jangan pernah memandang rendah ibu rumah tangga. dan juga sebagai ibu rumah tangga, kita harus tetap percaya diri. ya ngga? ;)

ps,
mommies are just a human being who sometimes can get tired, fed-up, angry or lonely.
so true :).

? love to write and run - a bus transjakarta passenger ?
@ninityunita

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Hi Ninit,
makasih yah udah boleh ikut berbagi .. semoga para ibu RT tetap semangat dan percaya diri bahwa mereka menjalankan tugas yang mulia :)

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Setuju banget. Ibu RT is the "real manager" of all and I respect them a lot.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Hi Mba Wati,
Salam kenal ya, tulisannya bagus banget! Bikin aku semakin merenung dan ikhlas :)

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Hi Mbak Wati, salam kenal. Sangat setuju dengan tulisan Anda. Saya pernah juga menyinggung2 sedikit soal IRT di blog pribadi setelah melihat tweet teman dari kolega yg (kurang lebih) isinya, "Ibu Rumah Tangga adalah seonggok daging tidak berguna". Kebetulan (tanpa bermaksud menyudutkan opposite sex ya) yg tweet itu seorang laki2. How selfish ya. Tp saya kurang tau juga apakah dia sudah menikah atau belum, let's just hope if he is..his wife gets the acknowledgment she needs. Here's a quote from my blog:
"Seorang IRT harus siap sedia 24 jam sehari, 7 hari seminggu tanpa gaji, bonus dan THR. Cuti? Bah, apa pula itu? Wong sakit saja belum tentu bisa menegak obat lalu tidur dengan tenang."

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
~Milton Berle~

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Salam kenal untuk semua ..
Yah, memang selama ini komentar2 miring soal ibu RT yg ngga berguna memang sangat menyakitkan, kadang terucap dari kerabat dekat atau teman yg kini sudah sukses dalam karirnya masing2 .. tapi yang paling menyakitkan sebetulnya kalau pengabdian mereka para ibu RT tsb, diremehkan oleh pasangan nya sendiri ..

Menurut saya, sebaiknya kita para ibu, baik yg bekerja mendapat penghasilan sendiri atau yang dirumah menerima penghasilan suami sama2 saling menghargai, jangan saling menuding .. ibu2 yg bekerja juga tdk kalah repotnya, apalagi yg tidak punya asisten dirumah .. jangan malah menghina atau meremehkan satu sama lain .. kita wanita memang dihadapkan pada pilihan yang tidak mudah antara ingin berkarir dan tetap menerima kodrat sebagai wanita yg hamil, melahirkan & mengasuh anak2 ... pilihan yg sulit bagi saya ..

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

mbak wati nice writing indeed! as a working mom, i never once thought that being a stay at home mom would be easier. i think i have it easy as a working mom karena bisa escape during the day. tapi bukan berarti gue malem2 juga. even tho i work, i'm very much involve in taking care of my daughter. i just couldn't be with her longer during the working hours. once i get home, i take off my role as a professional and purely just be a mom, till the next morning when i'm off and ready to go to work again.

that's why i salute the full time mom! and i envy them also cuz they get to spend all their time with their kids. i dream about that one day, but for now, i cannot detach myself from my work. and as long as i know my daughter is taken care off well while i'm at work, i'm happy with the way things are.

on the other hand, as a working mom, especially one with ambition and very career minded.. i also have to make sacrifice in the name of motherhood. i chose to stay at my current company cuz the office is close to where i live. so i can go home during lunch time to breastfeed my daughter to nap. and be home by dinner time. sampe anak ku umur 1 tahun, i still manage to bathe her everyday in the morning before i'm off to work and sometimes in the evening when i came home.

but on the other hand, the strain that i need to be at this job and not grow outside (by searching for other satisfying jobs for my career) is also a sacrifice that i have to make for now.

and i don't mind it at all!!

? a worker by choice, a mom & wife by nature ?
owner - slesta.com | @slesta

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Salam kenal mbak sLesTa,

saya mengerti sekali pengorbanan yang mbak ungkapkan diatas, saya pun salut kepada ibu2 yang bisa berhasil "juggling" antara kewajiban di kantor & di rumah .. saya paham sekali hal tsb tidaklah mudah :)

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

How about we "home" dads??

Works hard, plays harder with his kids.
- Papa to Shavira & Arkan -
http://emergencyrecipes.wordpress.com
http://chandramarsono.wordpress.com

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

lho? ada CM juga disini .. ha ha ha ..
papa don't preach .. *nyanyi a la Madonna*

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

hi mbak wati,
menambahkan juga... saya pun sama spt mbak wati. memahami bahwa apa yang dijalankan ibu2 tidak mudah. jadi wanita karir pun sangat tidak mudah (kebayang kalo pisah sama anak untuk kerja pasti berat)... jadi ibu rumah tangga juga demikian.

makanya, jujur... dan dari hati yang terdalam... saya kagum sama slesta. sama mbak wati... thalia... rani... juga cerita teman-teman yg lain, masing-masing sangat menginspirasi saya :).

cheers ibu-ibu! ;)

? love to write and run - a bus transjakarta passenger ?
@ninityunita

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

hi mbak wati, salam kenal :)
tulisannya bagus bgt, mbak... ngebuka-hati. baca tulisannya, saya jadi ingat sama... ibu saya ;-) Hummm, jadi ibu memang nggak mudah; tapi justru itu yang menempa para ibu jadi "kuat"& tangguh. salut untuk para ibu ! ;-)

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

salam kenal juga mbak rainiw :)

buat Urban Papa, saya salut juga pada anda .. selain bekerja keras menguras tenaga & pikiran, masih sempat masak buat yg dirumah, ganti popok, nemenin main sampai memandikan buah hatinya yg lucu2 itu .. :D

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going - PJ O'Rourke, Author.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

yo i. bener banget. waktu 3bulan cuti melahirkan kemarin saya sempet pura2 jd ibu rumah tangga. kerasa banget biru lebam remuk redamnya badan waktu ditinggal asisten rmh tangga dan baby sitter mudik lebaran seminggu. keadaan abis melahirkan, menyusui, merawat 2 anak, dan mengerjakan pkerjaan rumah bener2 bikin capek hati dan capek badan. padahal, itupun banyak dibantu suami yg lg libur idul fitri. makanya, salut banget sama para ibu rumah tangga. hikmahnya, jadi sayang sama baby sitter dan asisten rumah tangga :-)

a life-enjoyer mama :)
www.ekadeau.blogspot.com
@ekadeau

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

The price of motherhood is to see her wonderful, happy children.

And thelilsolder is back. Fire!

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

idem sama slesta :)
gak pernah sekalipun kepikir meremehkan ibu RT apalagi semenjak tinggal disini dan kenal sama para SuperMom ...yg sesama perantau.
yg ada malah kadang sirik... kpn bisa punya lebih banyak waktu untuk anak? kpn bisa punya waktu u/ lebih sering kumpul2 sama temen2 di sini.. :p
gue juggling antara jadi 'kuli' di kantor, dan jadi ibu dan istri di rumah. malah kadang2 dirumah masih ditambah sama side job.
tapi juga nggak sampe mengeluh (insyallah). paling sebatas berandai2 aja.. gimana rasanya ya kalo jadi FTM :)
mungkin bakal lebih berat karena ga bisa 'kabur sejenak' sepert kalo ngantor.

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

hi mom, salam kenal semuanya...

motherhood? motherhood is always complex, butuh kesabaran, keihklasan dan keterbukaan hati untuk terus belajar. sejak memutuskan menikah aku paham konsekuensi menjadi ibu dan istri, kalo kemudian ngga bisa berkarir karena motherhood, that's fine, it's my choice karena ingin merasakan process of motherhood, berharap bisa menjadi manusia yang lebih baik.

tetap bisa berkarir dan tidak meninggalkan process motherhood, means "work at home mom" aku terima tawaran itu. sebagai bentuk rasa syukur atas umur, tenaga, kesehatan dan waktu yang telah diberikan olehNya.

salam motherhood. motherhood is beautiful

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Haha.. interesting question Chand! :)

Soalnya buat home Dad seperti kita sering kali serba salah (at least gue). Contohnya kalo lagi on di komputer karena ada deadline, etc. terkadang mau cuek nggak ngurusin anak jadi nggak enak hati. Tapi disisi lain, kalo udah on dan tiba2 di-interupsi, mood kerja udah susah balik lagi. (Bukannya cari2 alasan klise nih, tapi kenyataannya memang begitu). :)

Kalo dibandingin dengan working Dad, dari jam 9AM-5PM nggak akan diinterupsi dengan urusan begituan. Wifey juga seolah2 'lebih rela' ngurusin anak2 sendiri karena "Ayah sedang kerja" di kantor. Kalo buat kita, wah.. bisa brantem deh kalo kita cuek beybeh. Misalkan nih, anak pingin poop, isteri minta tolong trus kitanya bilang "jangan dong gue lagi kerja nih". Bisa2 langsung dituduh "Halah.. minta tolong dikit aja kok nggak mau" :)

This leads to question: gimana sih pembagian tugas bagi yang kebetulan jadi home Dads and Moms?

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Baru tau ada tread ini,
Jadi inget dulu waktu baru melahirkan ada teman yang sms seperti ini bunyinya:
Menjadi ibu adalah sebuah karir,24 jam sehari,7 hari seminggu,sepanjang tahun,sepanjang hidup. Tidak ada cuti,tidak ada gaji,tidak ada bonus,tidak ada uang lembur,tidak ada tunjangan dan kadang.....tak dihargai.Namun aku bahagia dan bangga dengan tugas itu,karena surat tugasku langsung ditandatangani oleh-NYA "SELAMAT MENJADI IBU"
waktu baca SMS ini aku langsung mewek.

love zahra,berumon and books

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Lilaaa, touching bgt! Huhuhu.. *virtual hugs buat semua mamas*

website : http://thebabybirds.net
twitter/IG : @almaviva

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Mama alesha, sama ma nyanya tersentuh bgt Baca kata2nya, langsung pengen di copy paste, penambah semangat klo lagi down :)

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

mamaalesha: ikutan spt nyanya dan bundalana, terharuuuuu *sambilngelapairmata*

being a mom for Kareem makes me find out the answer why "surga itu ada ditelapak kaki ibu" (Blog: http://www.negeridongeng.com/)

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

Menjadi IRT atau ibu yang bekerja, menurutku sama-sama mulia, sama-sama menjadi ibu yang terbaik buat anaknya. sama seperti Slesta, aku adalah Ibu Yang Bekerja. terkadang dalam hati iri rasanya dengan ibu IRT yang lain yang bisa menjaga anaknya 24 jam penuh, tetapi balik lagi saya tidak bisa meninggalkan pekerjaan dan juga tidak bisa acuh terhadap urusan rumah tangga.

Ini sempet saya tulis di blog saya tentang I'am a working mom di http://aprodieta.wordpress.com/2010/04/30/iam-a-working-mom/. Disitu saya menulis, begitu banyak tantangan seorang ibu, baik IRT ataupun yg bekerja, tetapi di blog itu tentang yg bekerja dan terutama tentang diri saya.

Intinya sih...IRT bukan pekerjaan yang memalukan. Jadi ibu yang bekerja juga bukan suatu kebanggaan. Yang menjadi kebanggaan adalah SAYA ADALAH SEORANG IBU, hehe.

Semangat buat mamas yang lain, semangat untuk menjadi ibu yang baik!

Ibunya Mika yang selalu pengen punya waktu banyak buat Mika

http://dieta.web.id/

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Topic: The Price of Motherhood

agwinadieta quote yang bagus banget...done, beres..ga ada saling cela mau irt mau working mom..yang ada kita sama-sama ibu, sama-sama bangganya karena udah jadi ibu :)